What to expect at a Nikah: a guide for guests.

At the Nikah

The Nikah is the marriage ceremony. It is often short and led by an imam, at a mosque, at home or at a venue. There is usually a short sermon, the marriage is agreed in front of witnesses, and it ends with a prayer for the couple. As a guest, you simply sit and listen.

Some families keep the Nikah to close relatives, so check your invitation to see which events you are invited to.

At the Walima

The Walima is a meal to celebrate the marriage. It is usually bigger and more relaxed than the Nikah, with food, photos with the couple and sometimes speeches. At some weddings, men and women sit in separate areas or rooms.

What to wear

• Dress modestly. Clothes that cover your arms and legs are a safe choice for everyone.
• Avoid very short, tight or see-through clothes.
• At a mosque, women are usually asked to cover their hair, so bring a scarf.
• You take your shoes off in a mosque’s prayer areas, so shoes that are easy to slip off help.
• If the invitation gives a dress code, follow it.

Being a thoughtful guest

• There is no alcohol at a Nikah or Walima, so do not bring any, including as a gift.
• Some people prefer not to shake hands with someone of the opposite sex. A smile and a greeting are always fine, so let the other person lead.
• Some guests may step away to pray during the event. You are not expected to join.
• Ask before taking photos, especially in women-only areas, and do not post photos of the bride or other guests online unless the couple are happy for you to.
• Bring only the people named on your invitation, as numbers are usually fixed for the catering.

Gifts

In many families, money in a card is the usual gift. Gifts for the couple’s home are welcome too. If the couple has shared a gift list, use that.

What to say

“Congratulations” is always right. Many Muslims say “Mabrook”, which means congratulations, or “Barakallahu lakuma”, which means may Allah bless you both.